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I’m beginning to study a new area (for me), ayurvedic medicine.  I’ve been introduced to the works of Deepak Chopra (yes, I’m late to the party, but that’s nothing unusual!) and am finding them very meaningful.

Today I read a quote…The healing mechanism inside us perfectly matches the one outside.  The human body does not look like the green meadow, but its breezes, its laughing water, sunlight, and earth were merely transformed into us, not forgotten.

(Journey Into Healing: Awakening the Wisdom Within you)

This speaks to me enormously.  I think that if one is aware enough, mindful enough, one feels things that are not immediately explicable.  When I have what I call a soul-feeding moment, I don’t always understand why it is so comforting, so soothing, so satisfying.  But I think this is a wonderful way of putting it into words, a good way of understanding what is happening here.  I am not separate from the external world.  I am not a discrete whole; I am merely a portion of the life and energy force that pervades all reality, but I am that portion collected into a finite package, a defined area.  So I think of myself as separate but really, I’m not.  I’m a part of that energy, that life force, and the boundaries that define what I call “me” are not solid or fixed, they are fluid and permeable.  So the energy flows into me, and out of me, and what I am seeing and feeling – the breeze, the sunlight, the play of light on water and the shadows of the trees – these are all manifestations of that energy flow.  They are affecting the energy flow within me.  If they are things with positive associations, then they are causing positive energy flow, and if they are things with negative associations, the flow is negative.

Another thing that Dr. Chopra says in that book is “We are the only creatures on earth who can change our biology by what we think and feel.” and “We perceive, which means we add meaning to every signal coming our way.”

Because we think, because we are conscious and aware, because we know and interpret and observe the energy flow, we can affect it.  We can influence it, for good or ill.  All too often, I think we influence it negatively, without ever knowing it.  My desire is to begin to influence it positively and consciously, knowing that I am doing so; to use my awareness and my sentience to create healing and strengthening energy rather than allowing my thoughtlessness and self-absorbed negativity to create weakness and ill-health in myself and the world around me.  I want to stop thinking of myself as a separate being and be aware of myself as a part of the endless flow around and through me.

This is a little scary.  It feels a little like a loss of identity and I think that is why we resist it.  But I want to learn to know it as not a loss of self, but as a greater knowing of self.  I am not separate but while I am in this life, in this form, I am defined, and that definition – though it is mutable and I can affect it – is what makes me, me.  I want to learn to know myself as both unique and individual, and still part of the whole.