Thoughts on Ayurveda: Perfect Weight (part 1)

Tags

Ayurvedic medicine, health, Spirituality, weight loss

I got Perfect Weight yesterday, by Deepak Chopra, and had to jump right in.

The book is an approach to weight loss through Ayurvedic principles.  More accurately, it explains how to restore your body to its natural balance, which will help it to achieve its proper weight.

There’s a lot I like about it.  I like that the watchword is moderation in all things – that’s sort of my philosophy to begin with.  I like that it is based in an understanding of the interconnection of all things.  I like that it is not one-size-fits-all, but rather emphasizes the need to understand your individual body and tailor your lifestyle to suit you, not some generic ideal.  I like that it incorporates more than just eating and exercise – there is discussion of ayurvedic massages, one form of which is essentially body-brushing, which I already love; and of course meditation is recommended.  So it is very much a total body/mind/soul approach, which is the guiding principle of Ayurveda to begin with.  That is completely in keeping with my needs and my philosophies.

There are some things about which I am doubtful, though.    For one thing, a basic recommendation is not to eat breakfast.  That flies in the face not only of “conventional wisdom” (which doesn’t hold that much water with me) and what I’ve discovered works for me (which does).  But an alternative is to just eat a very light breakfast, so it’s not like I couldn’t do it.

Exercise is not supposed to be super-strenuous, and you’re supposed to tailor it to your body type, which is great.  I’ve already discovered that I do best with very moderate exercise, and I can very easily become overtrained.  So I like that.  However, I’m a Pitta-Vata type, with Pitta slightly more dominant, and the recommended exercises for Pitta types are walking, running, mountain climbing, hiking and swimming.  I hate running.  I do like walking and hiking though.  Vata exercises are yoga, dance aerobics, short hikes, and light bicycling.  I can completely get behind that.  🙂  I love yoga, and light bicycling is about all I’m capable of.

But my very favorite form of exercise is weight training, which is a Kapha exercise.  I have very little Kapha according to the questionnaire.  Which doesn’t mean I can’t do it, of course, but it surprises me that I love it so much if it’s not really what fits my type.  So that raises a bit of doubt.

He recommends going meatless two or three days a week, which doesn’t sit well with me; I’m a total carnivore.  But I’m willing to give it a try; I won’t do vegan but I can definitely limit myself to nuts and dairy for my protein on a day or two.  Then you’re supposed to, one day a week, take in nothing but liquids.  You can have anything you want, you just have to liquefy it.  This is supposed to eliminate ama (a product of improper digestion, a negative energy), strengthen digestion, and restore balance.  So…that will involve definite restructuring for me but it’s not a bad thought as I’d already considered doing a juice fast once a week or so anyway.

You’re supposed to eliminate red meat as much as possible.  Again, I can do this, but I don’t want to.  But then, as I am so fond of quoting, “If we want what we have never had, we must do what we have never done.”  Which means change.  Duh.  So.

You’re supposed to avoid cold foods and drinks.  Meals should be freshly cooked.  Even vegetables are supposed to be cooked; he doesn’t really encourage a lot of raw produce.  Some, but not a lot.  Very contrary to what I’ve learned, and I’m unsure about this as well.

He wants you to sip hot water throughout the day.  Can I just say how repellent this sounds to me?  I know people do it but I don’t like drinking water if it’s even room temperature.  Another big adjustment.

There are some basic tips that really are in keeping with what we all have learned to be smart, but I like the way he states them:

• Eat in a settled and quiet atmosphere
• Always sit down to eat
• Never eat when you’re upset
• Eat to the point of comfort, not fullness, and never beyond 3/4 of your capacity
• Focus completely on your food
• Eat slowly
• Sit quietly and relax for a few minutes after you finish eating.

But he also says not to eat for at least three hours and more like six, after a meal.  Since I eat six small meals a day, this is very, very different.  It’s more like the way I used to eat, which scares me.  But then, I won’t be eating the same things I used to eat.  So I’m not sure about this one.  He does say if you must snack, make it something light like a piece of fruit.

Breakfast is supposed to be a very small meal if you eat it at all, lunch the big, main meal, and dinner light.  I’m not sure how I feel about this, either; the six small, nearly equal meals has been so good for my blood sugar and my weight.  So I’m debating it.

There’s much more to the book but the only other main thing I want to talk about is the daily cycle.  You have to understand the doshas for it to make complete sense, but the gist of it is that there are certain times of the day when certain aspects of your physiology are more dominant.  Therefore, you should always get out of bed before 6 a.m., to avoid sluggishness.  You should never eat anything heavy except between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.  Exercise is best between 6 a.m. and 10 a.m., and 6 p.m. and 10 p.m.  You should always be in bed by 10 p.m.

This actually fits my day pretty well.  I’d have to get up a bit earlier, but not that much.  I exercise in the evening, so that works out well.  And I have always, always tried to be in bed by 10, because frankly I needs me my sleep.  🙂  The eating thing is hard though.  As I said before, spacing my small meals evenly through the day has really worked well for me.  I will have to consider this.  Although really I guess that’s not contrary to this, because none of those meals would be considered heavy…

Enough for now.  More later.

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The Art of Weight Loss

I’ve been thinking again…

Losing weight is something that the vast majority of people in America are trying to do – whether they in fact need to or not.

Well, let me qualify that.  It is something they want to do; they may not really be trying.  More on that later.

There is  multimillion-dollar industry built around this desire, from pills and powders to gyms and clinics, online programs, books, videos, exercise tools…it’s all part and parcel of the desire of Americans to be slim, svelte, and sexy.  You can turn on your television at any hour of the day and night and, if you are willing to invest a few minutes of surfing, find a program, commerical, or infomercial discussing weight loss and how the product/program/facility advertised is the only way you are ever really going to “lose the weight and keep it off”.

(The second half of that statement is fairly important, because most of us have, at some point in our lives, been successful at losing weight.  Unfortunately, we have also been very successful at finding it again.  But that’s a topic for another post.)

So why, if we are so consumed with the desire for slim, shapely bodies, are so many of us so fat?  (Yeah, I said the F-word, get over it.  I don’t pull punches, sorry.)

There are a lot, a LOT, of excuses for why we cannot be a slim, healthy society.  Lack of time and too much stress are probably the biggest offenders, according to popular wisdom; lack of willpower and temptation-bombardment by the advertising industry run a close second; and then of course there are a lot of us who find more scientific-sounding reasons, like bad genes or glandular issues or medications we are taking.  And the truth is, most of those do, indeed, play a part in our recurring failures.

But I have to wonder – we are not, as a whole, a stupid, lazy, weak people.  We have not built an amazingly complex society and one of the richest, most powerful nations in the world by being any of those things.  Sure, we have our moments, but generally speaking we are intelligent, inventive, resourceful, and strong.

Even individually, you look at your average person who is overweight.  Yes, you may be looking at someone uneducated, someone who is subsisting at the minimum level because he or she is “shiftless” or unmotivated – but the chances are better that he or she is none of those things.  Chances are good that he or she is gainfully employed, probably well-educated, successful at his or her job and with his or her relationships and family life.  He or she probably has a good paying job, a spouse, and children who are fairly happy and well-adjusted.  None of those things come from being lazy and weak.

So what is the problem?  If we are smart enough and strong enough to educate ourselves and succeed in other areas of our lives, why can we not build a healthy lifestyle and stick to it?

I think one answer (one of many) is that weight loss is a process of deferred reward.  We, as a society, have become conditioned to expect immediate results from everything we do.  Touch a button, and your TV comes on; another button, and it’s on the station you want to watch.  Even better, it will record the show and, with another button-touch, play it back for you.  A couple more buttons will give you last night’s lasagna, reheated and ready to enjoy. (And that lasagna may well have started out frozen, or came from a local restaurant.  We won’t even talk about the chemicals it contains.)  A couple of mouse clicks, and you’re reading messages from your friends around the globe.  Immediate, easy, tangible results, with very little thought or effort on your part.

Hop in your car, drive a mile or so, and you’ve got a lovely meal right there in your hot little hands.  It isn’t a healthy one, but it tastes great, all greasy and salty and…

Weight loss, however, does not work that way.  It is a process of consistent, thoughtful application and effort.  You can afford to slip a little every now and then, but for the most part you must remain on task consistently for not hours or days, but months and even years.  You must build a new lifestyle – and you aren’t going to get great feedback on a daily basis.  Many of us who are trying to lose weight become “scale junkies” – stepping on the scale daily or even several times a day – searching for that immediate feedback, that instant gratification.  “Look, I ate a grapefruit and some peanuts for breakfast, and I did 100 crunches!  Time for some feedback from Mr. Friendly Scale!”  Only that never works, NEVER.  “Mr. Friendly Scale” all too soon becomes “Evil Purple Scale” or some equivalent thereof, because he NEVER cooperates!  Which is why most weight loss programs recommend weighing once a week; usually you can expect SOME kind of results in that time, though they probably won’t be what you’re hoping for.

We are trained, taught and conditioned to expect immediate results for our effort, and with weight loss you simply don’t get it.  We are not trained to patience and persistence, because most of the time in our society they simply aren’t needed, and therefore are not usually rewarded.  For the most part, that doesn’t cause us much grief, but when it comes to losing weight, it will cripple you and take you completely out of the game.

I think it would be a great idea if someone set up a retraining program to educate people about patience and persistent effort, before they start losing weight.  Maybe that would be a good component of a weight-loss clinic.  The only problem is, I don’t know if it’s possible.  How do you overcome a lifetime of mental conditioning?  We all know children absorb conditioning like this much more easily than adults, so the deck is stacked against us to begin with.

What also scares me about this is that this particular problem is only getting worse.  Our children are exposed to more and more immediate gratification every day, as technology becomes more advanced and refined.  In addition, we are not teaching them healthy habits and are feeding them the same kinds of foods that made us fat to begin with.  Even when we think we are giving them a healthy alternative, often it is not much better.  (Sugar, even disguised in a fruit roll-up or a tube of “portable yogurt”, is still sugar!)  Whole foods are healthy, but not generally as convenient as the processed alternatives.  I don’t think this augers well for the battle against of our nation’s “obesity epidemic”.

Individually, we need to start taking responsibility for changing this, NOW.  We need to start teaching our children not only what is healthy and what isn’t, but WHY.  It isn’t enough to say “chips are bad for you” – you have got to give them the reason behind it.  Dumb it down as far as you think you need to, put it in terms they can understand, but get the information to them.  Don’t wait until they’re “older, and can understand”.  Kids can understand an amazing amount, and you’re teaching them constantly whether you realize it or not.  Make sure you’re teaching them the right things.  And we need to find some way of teaching them the value of patience, persistence, and consistent effort.

Yeah, I know, I sound preachy, but this matters.  The battle is hard enough for us; I desperately don’t want it to be even harder for my children.  And they may be slender and healthy now – but so was I, at that age.

Quick Note on Panic Attacks

Just a note for anyone currently suffering from these: 

I suffered from panic attacks for literally years…I took Paxil for five years during the worst of them. You can say what you like about SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) but it literally saved my life and my sanity. I have also taken Zoloft (didn’t work) and Lexapro (did!) as well as training in biofeedback and counseling.

This can be done. You do not have to be a prisoner of your own brain chemistry! You do not have to be medicated for the rest of your life, though if you need it, PLEASE take it! Don’t look at it as a stigmatic thing; medication is there to help you and you wouldn’t hesitate if you were a diabetic and needed insulin, would you? It’s the same thing – yes, it IS.

I strongly recommend a combination of medication and therapy, as well as learning techniques like meditation and controlled breathing that will help you to head off the attacks when they do happen. I won’t tell you that I don’t occasionally get hit with one – but now I can deal with it in the first minute or so and stop it in its tracks. I never get to the dizzy, breathless, hyperventilating, hallucinating stage that used to be standard. I can nip it in the bud.

I am no longer on medication, nor am I in therapy, but I have regained control of my life. You can, too, and it’s worth whatever it takes because life is too beautiful to waste in mindless terror!

Don’t give up on this.  You can get through it. 

Britney’s “Belly”???

Okay, NOW I’m pissed.

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/story/ar/_a/britneys-body-gets-brunt-of-insults/20070911064009990001

First, let me state that the outfit Britney was wearing for this performance was a poor choice for anyone, at any time.  It is unattractive and tasteless and would make just about anyone look bad.

Having said that, I am beyond incensed at the plethora of “fat” comments engendered by this!  I heard the comments before I saw the performance, and looked it up fully expecting to see the visual evidence of a year-long binge.  Let’s face it, the girl has been on a bit of a roll lately.  I expected that to be reflected in sagging arms, a bulging belly, jiggling cellulite – in short, all of the things advertised in the Web flames.

Frankly, I see none of this.  I see a body that is a hell of a lot better than 99% of the women on the planet, and one that most teenage girls wouldn’t be ashamed to claim.  I see a shape a little curvier than the one she had pre-babies, but I do not see rolls and bulges and flab.  I see arms that are more rounded and less toned than the average Hollywood star’s, but they are not fat, flabby, or unattractive.  I see legs that are a little thicker than most of the same Hollywood stars’, but again not flabby or revolting.

Britney does not look the way she once did.  She also doesn’t look like a woman who has given birth twice.  Frankly, considering the two kids and the lifestyle she has been pursuing, she looks damn good.

In what universe is this fat?  I truly want to know.  Because I don’t think I want to live in that universe.  That is a universe of carrot sticks, water and lettuce, and very little else.  A universe of girls learning to hate themselves at an earlier age all the time; of young women starving themselves and abusing their bodies in the name of “beauty” because if they don’t, they are reviled; of the average woman looking at herself with nothing short of disgust and revulsion, no matter how healthy she may be, because she can’t possibly live up to the not only ridiculous but downright dangerous standard that is being held up for her review!

I have a 16-year-old daughter.  She is frankly gorgeous, if I do say so myself (and I do).  She is 5’4″, with long light-brown hair and greenish-brown eyes, lovely fair skin with a delicate smattering of freckles across her nose, a sweetly curved mouth that smiles a lot, and a knockout figure.  If she were a little older, she would be called sexy as hell; as it is, my friends see her and say, “She’s got such a cute figure!  She’s on birth control, right?”

She wears a size 6.  She probably weighs more than Britney.  (The boys who text her constantly don’t seem to mind much, though.)

To the idiots criticizing Britney’s appearance, this beautiful girl would be considered a “tubby chick” and ridiculed for her size.  Which, frankly, is utter bullshit.  I despair because she thinks she’s fat; I wonder how to make her see that her size is normal, healthy and gorgeous, (and a size I would have killed for at that age!) and that protruding bones do not equal beauty.  I agonize over what it does to her self-esteem that she is not a twig.  And then I read articles like this one, and I want to throttle somebody.

It is no wonder that young girls everywhere are growing up to be women with enormous self-esteem issues and a complete lack of reason when it comes to their body image.  It’s not just the fact that bone-thin women with a silhouette similar to that of a drought-surviving Ethiopian are paraded before us and called “beautiful”.  It is the fact that women with an ounce of flesh – whether it’s fat or muscle – are called “tubby”, “chunky”, “fleshy”, and outright “fat”.

I am no fan of Britney Spears.  I never have been.  The girl needs turned over someone’s knee and taught some manners, some class, and some self-respect.  But this is ridiculous, and I am deeply angered on behalf of every female on the planet.  It is time that this insanity stopped.

Avoidance

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23411325-details/Fury+over+BBC+plan+to+screen+the+slaughter+of+lambs+and+piglets/article.do#readerComments

This is interesting on several levels.  I find it interesting that nobody seems to approve of this.  Meat producers are concerned that it will be off-putting; animal rights activists think it is too sanitized.

I think both stances are wrong.  Neither side wants the truth; neither side wants an honest, unvarnished, unsensationalized view of the process from animal to entree.  The meat producers want no coverage at all – it is obviously in their best interest if consumers are able to completely avoid thinking of dinner as having ever been a sweet little lamb or soulful little calf.  They would prefer to avoid the issue entirely.

The animal rights activists are the opposite – they want the coverage sensationalized; maximize the blood and gore and the screams of the animals as they die (if they scream; I don’t personally know).  They want fire and brimstone, to turn off as many consumers as possible.

Personally, I think the middle ground is the best route.  I do believe that anyone who consumes should know what he or she is consuming.  Consumers need to be aware of the process through which they are provided with products.  We have become a nation – nay, a world, of mindless, unthinking devourers with endless and indiscriminate appetites, and we have been enabled to indulge those appetites with neither a sense of nor a concern for the consequences.  We are presented with lovely, appetizing food in neatly packaged, sanitized containers, delivered right to our local grocery and purchasable with nary a thought for its origin. (Or for its nutritional value or effect on our health, but that’s a separate post.)  We have been enabled, in this as in many other things, to simply refrain from any thought at all.

This is not to our benefit.  Witness recent food and merchandise recalls – contaminated food, poorly manufactured products containing physically damaging substances.  These things would be far less likely to occur if the general public were informed and discerning when it comes to the items we purchase.  We do not research the origin of our children’s toys, or trouble ourselves to see what the constituent parts of them are or of what they are made.  It was on the market, therefore it must be safe – if it weren’t safe, “they” wouldn’t be able to sell it.  But we don’t even know who “they” are, or who the nebulous entities are that we think are protecting us.

So yes, I think the public needs to witness the process of meat production.  Frankly, I think we should be made to, for a number of reasons.

First, and most importantly, no decision as to a lifestyle should ever be made without as many facts as you can put your mental “hands” on.  If you are going to choose to eat meat – or subvarieties of meat such as veal or lamb – you should have made that decision based on the facts as to what it is and how it is produced, not on simple availability.  You should weight the benefits of consuming that item against the consequences it brings to you and to the animal.  If you then decide to consume it, that is your personal choice and the rest of the world can be damned, because it is not their decision nor their business.  But you should do it knowingly.  You cannot, or certainly should not, have a clean conscience about any action if you do it in wilful ignorance.  The information is available, and you should take advantage of it.

Secondly, as stated above, uninformed choices are often detrimental to the consumer.  If you know the source of your food, you are far more likely to understand the possible problems with it and be more vigilant and cautious, and therefore may be more likely to catch a problem before it adversely affects you.

Information is never a bad thing.  Legitimate, sensibly-presented information is a tool of reason.  Ignorance and sensationalism are the tools of debasement and the decline of civilization.  Or, if you want to look at it that way, evolution in action.

Thoughts on Weight Loss…

I have been making a journey for the past year, originally intended to be a short trip toward a few pounds off – but it has snowballed into a complete life change.  I have learned so much from the Biggest Loser Club, and have a far greater understanding now of why I got where I was, and what I need to do to keep from going back there.

I have met an enormous number of people who are undertaking the same journey, and have seen both ends of the spectrum – those who are grimly determined to do whatever they must, and those who clearly should not be in the Club because they are not even close to making a real commitment to healthy living.  I know that I have been in both groups… but I hope that I am firmly entrenched, now, in the first.

I wrote this during a moment of extreme frustration with some of the excuses I was hearing (and making!):

This is about ME.  It is for ME.  It is up to ME, because in the end, the only one who can change ME is, yep, you guessed it, ME.

It is about ME because, after all, this is my life.  It is my health, it is my entire future on the line.  Will I spend it overweight, listless, tired and unhealthy?  Will I spend it always thinking in terms of what I “can” and “can’t” do?  Will I spend it as a bad example for my children and as living proof to those around me that it “can’t be done”?  Or will I spend it taking responsibility every second of every day for all of my actions and decisions?  Will I spend it making a conscious choice each time I take a bite or get up of my chair, to be healthy and strong and constantly improving?  Will I be a beacon to my children, of strength and hope and responsibility and self-value?  No one can make that choice but ME.

It is for ME because I don’t want to be tired.  I don’t want to be depressed; I don’t want to feel that I am a failure and worthless and lazy and undisciplined and a quitter.  I don’t want to be fat.  I don’t want to be weak.  I don’t want to have high blood pressure…high cholesterol…heart palpitations…migraines…joint problems…muscle weakness…fatigue.  I don’t want to be listless and aimless and hopeless.  I don’t want to age – I want to ripen!  I want to blossom, into the most amazing, strong, beautiful, sexy, powerful person I can possibly be.  I want my late 30s, my 40s, my 50s – to be the best part of my life so far.  I want to be friends with my daughters as they grow up and start their own families; I want to be the “young grandma” – and y’all, that has nothing to do with age!  I want to play.  I want to be able to go with my husband on cruises and vacations and whatever, and have fun.  I want to LIVE the rest of my life – not just exist. I want to know that my husband can look at me and be proud that I am his, and know that he is at least as blessed in his wife as any other guy out there.  I know he already loves me, and thinks I’m great.  I want to agree with him.  I want to love myself as much as he loves me, because – no, not because of how I look – because I did this.  Because I did not quit.  Because I was strong and fierce and not to be denied! Because I refused to take no for an answer from myself.  Because I was good enough.  Because I just did it.  That’s what I want for ME.

It is up to ME, because who can do this for me?  No one.  My friends can support me and encourage me and compliment me, and they do.  They can be there for me by not offering me unhealthy crap that they know I don’t need.  They can listen with a sympathetic ear when I whine about how hard it is.  They can understand that I don’t eat out with them a lot any more because it’s just not in line with my plan.  They can help me…but they can’t do it for me.  

My husband can support me too, and tell me how great and sexy I look, and how proud he is of me.  He can brag about me to his friends and his family and our neighbors and yes, even virtual strangers on the street – and he does.  He can buy me new clothes and give me rewards for my progress like a new bike at 25 pounds or a vacation getaway at 50 pounds…and he does!  He can even go so far as to do the program with me, because it makes it easier for me and makes me feel better about his health – and oh, he does.  But no matter how wonderful he is, no matter how much he is there for me, he cannot do it for me. 

My kids can put up with the changes, tolerating even the loss of some of their favorite foods because they are my favorites too and I can’t have them in the house — and they do. They can put up with the switch to whole-wheat, low-fat, no-sodium, etc…without complaining much…and for the most part, they do.  They can tell me I look really skinny and tell their teachers I’m getting thin – and my goodness, they do!  They can cheer me on and give me stern looks and finger-shakes when I reach for that brownie or those French fries – and good Lord, you’d better believe they do.  But no matter what, no matter how patient they are and how supportive, they cannot do it for me. 

My online BLC message-board family can be there for me in so many ways…they can listen to me whine and cry and rage about everything imaginable.  They can share their own frustrations and successes and worries…they can be there to give me a shoulder or a whip-crack, depending on which I need…they can know exactly what I’m going through and how hard it can be…and they can tell me what has helped them, what has worked for them, and so make me wiser and stronger and more likely to succeed.  And oh, my friends, they do…they do.  But no, I’m sorry…even they cannot do it for me.

No one can.  It is, and always will be, up to ME.

No one can change ME, except for ME.  You might think that makes ME feel rather alone.  And I guess it could, if I looked at it that way.  But guess what?  I don’t.  Because here’s the cool thing…

“No one can change ME but ME.”  Really, really think about what that means.  No one else can change ME…but I can.  I can change ME.  I can do this for ME.  I can, I can, I can! 

No more “can’t”.  Not for ME!  I can stop blaming my health on everything else in the world, step up and take responsibility  – and that’s hard for a lot of people, because no one wants to feel like they are responsible for being the way we are.   But what they fail to realize is that doing so is incredibly empowering – because if only YOU got you where you are today, then only YOU can get you out.  And again, really think about those words…only YOU can…which breaks down to “YOU can!”

But you have to do it.  Talking about it won’t work…thinking about it won’t work…planning it out won’t work…making all the lists and menus and schedules and routines in the world won’t work…unless you do it.  All those things are very valuable tools to keep you going, but you have to get started first.  

Step 1:  Put down the brownie…Step 2:  pick up the apple or the carrot sticks or the wheat bread or the lean protein or whatever your Biggest Loser Club meal plan calls for.    Step 3:  Get up and move.  Doesn’t matter how, just move. Repeat as necessary. 

And remember, Steps 2 and 3 are at least as important as Step 1!  Self-denial and restraint are nothing at all if you are not replacing the bad habits with the good.  Don’t starve your body – feed it what it needs!  If you have to go over your calories for the day, do it with healthy stuff!  Your body does know the difference, and it will reward you with better muscle tone, less fat, greater endurance, and an enormous sense of well-being.

Think of it like this:  If your car is running poorly and getting bad gas mileage because of bad fuel, what do you do?  Do you stop putting gas in it entirely, or keep giving it the same bad stuff, but just give it less?  Don’t be ridiculous!  Of course not, because then you get nowhere at all!   The very best that can happen there is you stall and are stuck in one spot – the worst is you ruin your engine.

No, what you do is you give it good fuel.  (You probably also have some sort of repairs done, too, if you’ve let it go long enough.)  You go out and you find out what kind of fuel it needs, and you give it that.  And it runs better.

So treat yourself and your body at least as well as you treat your car!  Regular maintenance and necessary repairs (doctor’s visits); periodic driving (exercise!) — because we know cars need to be driven regularly —  and good fuel.  It’s not so much to ask, really.

It isn’t going to be easy – kicking an addiction, and changing your habits completely, is not easy.  But the great news is that it’s not impossible, either.  How, you ask, can you do it?  There’s no magic formula or potion or chant to recite.  Nobody can tell you a shortcut or a “cheat”.  (They can tell you, but it won’t work.)  You have to just do it.  Just put down the lead and pick up the gold.  Don’t think about it, don’t examine it, don’t plan to do it later – just do it NOW.  And again in five minutes…no excuses, no laziness, no self-pity, no justification.  Just do it, one decision at a time.  Don’t think about the next decision…don’t think about the last decision.  I don’t care if you ate a doughnut an hour ago or you’re going to eat a great salad later – what are you eating now?  I don’t care if you worked out this morning or you’re going to run a mile later…what are you doing now?

Just do it.  Stop making excuses and start making changes.  If you have health issues – work around them. FIND a way.  There is always a way.  TALK to your doctor, don’t just say you’re going to – pick up the phone right now and call, tell him what your health issues are and ask him what exercise you can do.  Don’t accept a lame, half-answer like “gentle exercise”.  Get a specific response.  Can you walk?  Can you exercise in a pool?  Can you use a recumbent bike?

We all have issues…we all have problems…we all have “reasons” why we just can’t do it.  And it’s all a bunch of BS.  There may be things you can’t do – but there is something you can do.  FIND IT.  

The bottom line is, you can make excuses to me all day long.  You can make excuses to everyone who wants to help you and give you tips.  You can come up with a million different “reasons” why you can’t do it.  But you can’t lie to your body.  It knows.  So if you are interested in finding excuses why it’s just “too hard” – save yourself, and us, the grief.  Just give up now and accept that you will always be unhealthy, because if you are more interested in making excuses than in making changes, you will be.

But if you really and truly are done with the extra weight…done with the body mass that doesn’t belong there…done with being tired and not feeling well and feeling older than you are…then you have to do it.  You have to do the work, even when it’s hard.

It’s worth it, I promise.

Thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions

I hesitate to call these New Year’s Resolutions…those are nothing more than rules we make in order to have the mixed joy and shame of breaking them. We don’t really “resolve” anything – we know when we make them that we will not keep them. We make them almost as a sort of game – how long will we keep them this year? How long will it take us to break every one on the list? It is a running joke, for many of us.Funny as this always seems, it strikes me (after having learned so much this year!) that this is really a very self-destructive process. We set ourselves up for failure, and each failure (though we may laugh about it) is another nail in the coffin of our sense of self-worth, of confidence, of capability and trustworthiness. Every single time we fail (having made that nearly inevitable for ourselves) we lose a little more faith in our own abilities and strength. And every ounce of confidence and faith we lose weakens us that much more, making failure even more likely the next time.

I’m not doing that anymore. I am through with tearing myself down. I spent so many years doing that, and not even knowing it; but that phase of my life is over. I am looking forward, eyes on the prize – and the prize is happiness, self-respect, strength and joy. All the things I had lost through my own ignorance and self-doubt. No more!

So this year, I am not making “resolutions”. Instead, I am making a list of things I can do to improve my life, my health, my happiness, and my contribution to the world around me. I may or may not be able to integrate all of these things into my daily life, but I can make myself more aware of the things I, personally, can do to change the world.

So here they are:

1. I can try to meditate, if not daily, at least as often as I can. This strengthens my spirit; it soothes my soul and calms my mind and fills me with a peace and serenity and personal strength that make every day better and more rewarding. This is not only good for me, but for those around me who reap the benefits of my calmer, stronger persona.

2. I can continue my personal journey toward a healthy, strong body. This can be accomplished through maintaining my new, healthy eating habits, and taking every opportunity to engage in healthy exercise, as well as making opportunities when none present themselves. Again, this benefits not only me but also those around me. When I am strong and healthy, I am capable of caring for myself and for others to a much greater extent. I am happier, I am calmer, I am more joyful, and I am setting a wonderful example for my family.

3. I can be as patient as possible with the shortcomings of others. I have long since accepted that I am not perfect, and I should strive to accept that in others as well. I can make allowances for bad-temperedness, for poor manners, for selfishness, for over-criticism, for laziness and other things, WITHOUT seeing those things as acceptable. I can continue to strive to avoid those things in myself, without condemning those around me for not meeting that standard. After all, I will most certainly not manage to eradicate those traits completely from myself; what right, then, do I have to expect a complete absence of them in others? I can be tolerant, recognizing an unpleasant trait without placing blame or passing judgment. There is a Judge who is responsible for this, and it is not me.

4. I can be as loving as it is possible to be. I can strive to release my fears of rejection, of judgment, of scorn and mockery, and offer to those I love and value the very best of my nature. I can show them that they are important to me, that my life is far the better for their presence and would be far the worse for their absence, without fearing that they will not return my regard. My life is bettered by the very act of loving others; if it is returned, then my harvest is twofold, but if it is not, the value of my own act is not lessened. I need not be loved by all whom I love, in order for that love to be a positive force in my life.

5. I can take more time. I can strive to slow down in every aspect of my life, to stop rushing from one thing to another so frenetically that I rarely devote to anything the time that it deserves. I can accept that in the course of a day, there are things that will not be accomplished. Some of them may even be very important things, but at no time will that signal the end of the world. There will always be tomorrow, and if there is not, then I will be beyond any concern for the things of this world. In the time I am given, I will make each moment count, for myself and for those that I love.

6. I can spend more time with my children, just being. I can sit with the Cricket and watch a movie, or play a board game, or go for a walk with the Nightingale or just sit in her bedroom and have a long conversation about nothing much at all. I can show my children that my time is valuable and that they are worth whatever amount of it they need. I can give them the gift of myself, without needing a reason or rushing into something else.

7. I can remember financial prudence. I can be mindful of each dollar spent, as much as I am of each moment lived. I can remember the difference between “need” and “want” and act accordingly, giving to my money the full value that it possesses. Through this, as well, I will be demonstrating good, strong, wise behaviors to my children.

8. I can explore the value of forgiveness. I can remember that the human heart has an infinite capacity for healing, and I need not guard it so fanatically that I refuse to open it to anyone or anything. Like a city under siege from without, its own walls can be its downfall, keeping enemies out but also keeping out nourishment and revitalization. I can remember this and be aware of my own guardedness, striving to open my heart even to those who have hurt it in the past, without flinching from the possibility that they may hurt it again. If they do, I will heal, as many times as necessary – but at least I will have lost no opportunity for the nourishment and revitalization of love and friendship.

9. I can strive for order and organization around me, in my work and in my personal life. I can remember that chaos and lack of structure inevitably result in unhappiness, uncertainty, fear, and, ultimately, loss or regret. Mistakes are made and damage done by a forgotten bill, a missed deadline, or even simply the rush of struggling to get something done at the last possible minute, resulting in lowered standards. I can strive to make my life simple and clean and structured, while allowing time and room for spontaneity and unscheduled laughter.

10. And last, but certainly not least, I can “always be a little kinder than necessary”. I can watch for opportunities to do a kind thing or lend a helpful hand to those around me, whether it is bringing a co-worker documents from the printer or spending a Saturday working at a local shelter. The tiniest acts of kindness do good for both he who gives and he who receives, and no matter how little I may be able to do, I can strive to always do that little.

These are things I can do…things I should do…and things I will try to do, whenever possible. I recognize that I may not always accomplish them, but I also recognize that though I miss thirty opportunities to live by these precepts, if I seize upon a single opportunity, then my life is still better.

I am not perfect, and I will not be perfect – no more than anyone, or anything, in this world is perfect. I will not even STRIVE for perfection, for that, again, is not only inviting but demanding failure. Yet I will strive for betterment, and to live the happiest, fullest, most peaceful and joy-filled life that I can live, in the time I am given. I cannot imagine any better way to live.

Yog-ahhhh

Okay, I want to talk for a little bit about the benefits of yoga.

I know this is nothing you haven’t heard before, but the fact is, you are hearing it from doctors or personal trainers or fitness gurus…and come on, who listens to them?  Most of them probably don’t even PRACTICE yoga, they’re just parroting what they’ve been taught.

I am here to tell you, though, that yoga is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  I could list all the things you’ve already heard, about lower blood pressure and stronger joints and stress reduction, but although those are absolutely true, you’ve already got that from the talking heads.

What I can tell you, as someone who does practice it (though not nearly as often as I’d like), is that it just makes you feel so GOOD.  On the days I do it, I feel more awake; calmer; stronger; more optimistic; more in control; and funnily enough, sexier.

I love doing it; I love the way it feels.  My muscles and joints are stretching and flexing and they feel as though they are all waking up and settling into the position they are SUPPOSED to be in, rather than the tight, cramped, unnatural position they were in from the night’s sleep or the day’s stresses.  It’s like I’m simultaneously shaking everything back into place, and like a lion inside me is waking up, stretching, and getting all ready to go hunting for the night.  (Sorry, stupid analogy, but that’s what it reminds me of – the muscles under a cat’s sleek hide flexing and stretching.  Hence, perhaps, the “sexier” part.)

I also love the way I feel afterward.  I am more awake and alert, and hence less cranky and difficult to be around.  I have not only more energy, but more positive energy, which is important.  Conversely, but simultaneously, I am more focused and able to stay on task.  My memory improves; my productivity is higher.  Yes, all this from a 20-minute yoga routine.  Laugh if you will – laughter is good for the soul! – but skeptics are invited to try it for themselves.  I do not think you will be disappointed!

I read an article recently that mentioned a study showing that yoga immediately decreases levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, in the body.  This is good not only psychologically, but also physically, because of the effects cortisol has on the body.  Cortisol excess can lead to insulin resistance, muscle weakness and atrophy, and loss of bone mass; excess cortisol can affect tendon health, and may cause depression-type effects as well as hypertension.  In short, STRESS MAKES YOU FAT AND UNHEALTHY.

Now, this is all more stuff from the talking heads, but I can vouch for it – not because I’ve had my cortisol levels tested or anything, but because I can feel the difference.  My blood sugar stays steadier throughout the day (I am borderline hypoglycemic), my muscles are stronger and leaner, and yes, my blood pressure is down.  I test it several times a day (I am trying to convince my doctor to take me off b.p. medication) and I have found that it is at its healthiest rabge immediately following my yoga practice.

So…if you want to be healthy, if you want to be strong, if you want to lose weight, if you want to reduce your stress, or if you just want to do something that is calming, centering and makes you feel great – give yoga a try.  I don’t think you’ll be sorry.

This message brought to you by the National Yoga Consortium.  (Just kidding.  To the best of my knowledge, there is no such organization, and if by some chance I am wrong, I hereby state that this message, this blog, and my own thoughts on yoga are in no way endorsed by that or any other official group.)